 "Going somewhere?"
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Part two of Under the Mask
Summary
After a long night full of regrettable choices, Florian reflects on the feelings he had repressed for all those years. Incapable of accepting that he's still in love with Eris, he forces himself to get her out of his mind by attacking and attempting to kill her and leave her to die. But deep down, his heart is weak and he's unable to go through with it. Eris isn't too thrilled about these developments, however.
Features
Characters
Locations
- Amaranth
- Green Kingdom
- Palace (Or is it a castle?)
- Green Kingdom
Under the Mask Pt.2
It was a bright humid morning and Florian just strolled through the royal garden, dew collected in his petals as well as the plants around him, but it didn't bother him. The morning air always helped him forget about events from the previous day and focus on the day ahead without a care in the world.
He tried to keep his mind distracted, but no matter what, the image of the red eyes and the sweet red lips wouldn't leave his mind.
Last night really was a mistake, an embarrassing, alcohol induced mistake. He was drunk and horribly horny, so of course he wasn't acting like himself, and as such, he had just decided to go to bed with his ex. Only to then not kill her like he had longed to for so many years, and instead wake up holding her in his arms.
He was repulsed, he wanted to be angry, he wanted to finish the job right then and there, but he was just too tired, or so he told himself. For how long had they been making out right after arguing about feelings? Did he really go down on her a second time more passionately or was that just a strange wet dream?
Whatever it was, he was having none of it, he just laughed to himself, thinking of how ridiculous it all was. What was the chance that something like that would happen?! To him of all Drimare kind! Regardless, she should be GLAD that he choose to spare her, but next time he wouldn't have any mercy, so she better not think to try and approach him!
With a serene smile, he indulged in more violent thoughts, wondering what the best way to make her suffer in her last moments could be. He got more lustful thoughts, and craved more of the taste from her sweet blood, but he couldn't take the risk of going soft again. He wouldn't drink then, alcohol was the only thing to blame, nothing else. He knew he wasn't soft, the very thought made him want to chuckle snobbishly, but he figured he'd get strange looks if he kept smiling and laughing to himself like that.
Eris kept trying to convince him to talk about his feelings, but how naive was she to believe that he had any empathy left and on top of that, insist that he was in love with her? Pathetic. The very thought!
This just made him laugh so much he had to sit down in a bench, it was hilarious, he laughed and laughed, it was just so funny he was tearing up, he laughed and the tears kept streaming, his laughter sounded just like bawling, bawling like he did the first time he was bit, because she had lied to him. Bawling because of how she manipulated him, because he couldn't accept how easily charmed he still was by her. Because he wouldn't accept that he might have a soft spot for his lady.
He just lowered his head, holding it as he clenched his teeth to force himself to stop crying. So embarrassing, he hadn't cried in years, but THIS made him tear up?! Completely repulsive...
Taking a deep breath, he rose his head, no more. And he cleaned up his cheeks so there were no traces of it, why did he have to let her do that to him? He swore if he were to lay his eyes on her again, that would be the last thing she would see! ...If he wasn't a coward and just went through with it.
Yet he was caught off guard when a large shadow towered behind him, and poked his shoulder, he tensed with this, quickly cleaning himself up and looking behind himself, he noticed the small familiar figure holding a parasol over her head. Not all vampires could be half flower like him and just sit in the sun without a care in the world afterall, he thought.
The ladybug looked visibly sleepy still, and seemed to try and process why he just sat by the light like that. Did he have a death wish? - You're up early... - She spoke with a yawn, offering her parasol to cover him from the sun that would mercilessly burn her skin.
He tensed with her presence and rejected her gesture, looking away - Just leave.
She just blinked surprised because of his indifference to the Sun light, could it be...? She extended her arm to the light, but it started stinging and she pulled back - ...How...?
- Through the front gate. You can ask for someone to escort you out.
- No, I mean... The Sun... How aren't you burning...?
- I won't say it again. Leave me alone. - He groaned frustrated, but the girl seemed indifferent to his threats and sighed.
- Fine, I will, but... I was hoping we could talk about what happened.
- Why am I not surprised? It was a mistake, nothing to be said about it.
- I know, but... Wait... Have you been crying? - She couldn't help but to notice his different tone and puffy eyelids and appeared concerned, but this only made him more enraged.
- That is none of your business. Just leave. Leave and never come back. - His lashers tensed, why was he giving her the chance to leave?! Why didn't he just take her out like he told himself to do mere minutes ago?!
Clawing at his legs, he noticed her presence persisted.
- I only wanted to see if you were doing well... - She spoke and he got up, making her look curiously but worried.
- Not when you're around. - He muttered bitterly, but Eris just looked a bit saddened but by this. Looking into her eyes, he felt the weakness she gave him crawling back and he clenched his teeth.
- Why can't you just open u-...! - She suddenly gasped as she felt the sharp stinging feeling on the side of her torso, she missed how quickly one of the thorn lashers from his back pierced her body and she moved her head to look directly at him in shock -Wh-What are you...? - he looked furious and cold with no remorse and she returned the same look, crying out as he removed the sharp thorn from her side, causing it to start bleeding as she fell to her knees.
He desperately wanted to enjoy the sight, but it felt as boring as killing any other girl and even a bit... sad... Wasn't he looking forward to this?
He couldn't process what he was feeling as he watched her. It felt wrong, not the kind of thrill he was seeking. Seeing her spiteful expression caught him off guard too. Did he... regret it...? No... He never regretted anything, but yet...
Noticing his expression, Eris took the chance to back out, one hand on the wound and another holding the parasol to cover herself and attack him were he to strike again. As if it was of any use when he was still stronger than her, but yet, he just glared sternly, his internal conflict only vaguely reflected in his eyes.
Eris didn't care for this, weakly getting up, she looked like she wanted to hit him but was too weakened to do so. - Argh... What is wrong with you?! - She cried out angrily.
- I warned you to leave! I don't want to see you anymore! What happened was a mistake!
- Fine! Ugh...! I was going to leave anyway. - She covered her wound in pain - It really was a mistake, but whose fault was that?!
He clenched his teeth in response - Just go away!
Glaring, she backed away, her eyes on him as she feared getting backstabbed if she even dare to turn her back to him.
He just stood there, standing and glaring, overwhelmed by feelings of anger but also regret. He didn't want her to leave! Wait what? Didn't he just say...? He didn't know what he was feeling! He had to force himself to look away as his fists lightly trembled.
The ladybug tripped and fell down, getting too weak to get up and keep on walking, the hand covering her wound and her dress were just completely bloody, and he looked back at her, he just couldn't help it, he was so overwhelmed by the disgusting feeling of regret.
- I... No... This is wrong... Let me take you to the nursery room... - He approached her but she pointed her parasol at him.
- NOW you want to do that?! I-I can go there myself!
- You don't know where it is!
- I'll find it! Just don't get closer! You'll keep on having these changes of heart, a-and I don't want to be there when you decide to attack me again! - She cried out angrily and trying to get up, she just fell down again and he cringed at her pain as he clenched his teeth.
- You either go now or you bleed out and die here! - He spoke sternly, to which she recoiled when he approached and took hold of her, rushing back inside muttering curses to himself. Eris wanted to fight back but every movement made her muscles burn in pain and her vision blur and fade out. Before she realized it, she leaned towards Florian's chest despite her fear, closing her eyes weakly.
- OW! - Eris slapped Florian's hands away as he cleaned her wound, to which he simply offered a stern glare and kept on doing his thing - That hurts...!
- Too bad. Now stand still.
The ladybug laid in the bed from the first aid room, her dress open and lowered just so the fabric from the side wouldn't be touching the blood and the wound. She covered her chest in embarrassment and noticed how Florian kept checking into what seemed like a first aid themed book. But although he kept taking mental notes, he still knew exactly where everything was, like he had done this thousands of times before.
Disinfecting it had been awful enough, with every touch stinging horribly, Eris cried out in pain - Ugh! I deserved a lot of things for what I did, but not this! You could have just slapped me or something, but nooo. Stabbing me was the next best thing!
He simply ignored her, despite agreeing with her words, he needed to focus as he began applying the larger bandage.
- You're a real prick, you know that? And just last night I was thinking you were something else!
He simply stopped what he was doing and simply glared at her with a stern look - Yes. I'm sure that feels awful. Now let me finish. You rest, leave, and we both forget that any of this ever happened. - He said as he began attaching the bandage.
- Don't you have any remorse or apologies?! Or are you too good for that??
- Just keep in mind that I could have killed you or left you to die if I wanted, Eris. But instead, I'm here. Wasting my time with you, think of that as you wish.
- You still stabbed me, if that is your way of saying your actions are speaking louder than your words, then you might want to try harder! - She sighed frustrated but he kept ignoring her complaints finished with tending to her wound.
The two were just silent for a while as he kept himself busy, clearly avoiding her gaze and conversation.
- Well...? - She asked again, noticing his ear twitch to the sound of her voice.
- What? - He asked, uninterested.
- Still nothing to say?
He looked at her neutrally and looked away once again - You're welcome.
She blushed angrily - NO! YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, DON'T PRETEND YOU DON'T!
To her surprise, he just snorted with this, and looked back with a faint smile - I'm just messing with you. - He frowned again - But yes... I'm sorry for stabbing you like that... And for any damaged organs... And for nearly killing you... And... For considering leaving you to die there. - His tone sounded genuine despite him wanting to sound sarcastic but Eris just gazed into nothing in particular
- I... wasn't expecting you to actually apologize... I'm a bit lost on words...
- Well I don't do this everyday, so take it or leave it.
- I mean... You can't just stab someone, say sorry and be done with it. - She felt conflicted.
He sighed - Well, what have you done for me lately? We're even. As I said, I don't want to see you, you're a bad omen.
- I'M the bad omen. Honestly after this, I wouldn't want to see you either and be stabbed again. - She felt the bandage on her side, but moving still hurt - ...So yes, I will gladly leave.
- Just try and rest first. Let yourself heal for a bit.
- Yeah I am not turning my back or closing my eyes with you around.
- Suit yourself. - He shrugged, cleaning up everything and neatly putting the rest of the things back in their place. She simply looked bored but thoughtful.
- ...Do you really hate me that much? - She asked, and Florian remained silent for a few seconds.
- ...It's... complicated.
- Complicated... - Eris repeated - Would you expand on that?
- I would not.
She just pouted with his response - I don't get what your deal is... Last night you were so... loving...
- Last night I had too much to drink and I wasn't acting like myself. - He blushed ashamed of the genuine love he made to her after their arguing. So embarrassing...
- Sure you weren't. - She sighed - I don't care, just... don't get yourself or your things any closer to me.
Florian huffed offended but refused to give her a response as he got up.
- You're so annoying to deal with... - She mumbled but he just rolled his eyes.
- Whatever. I'm leaving. Do you need anything? A coffee, tea perhaps?
- You'll probably poison them, so no.
He just blinked and scratched his chin - ...I hadn't thought of that. But I do admire your way of thinking. I'm sure there is probably poison somewhere in the castle.
- Yes and that! What is your business here? Do you work for the king?
- My dear, if I told you too much, I would have no choice but to kill you. - he arrogantly laughed - But yes. I am part of court. You wouldn't expect that, much less from one of my kind.
- Don't be bragging. I don't know how a peasant like you got here but I'm almost sure you didn't actually deserve it as much as you may think. - She smiled mockingly but still pained as she held her side.
Florian offered a chuckle, approaching her - Perhaps. But I regret nothing. You might want to lay down, however, forcing yourself up like that is anything but good for your healing.
She faced away, offended by him - I know what I'm doing.
- And I know better. I've done this plenty of times before, Eris. Trust me when I say that you need to rest. Plus if you don't heal, you'll just have to stay here longer.
She rolled her eyes as she laid down, a sarcastic smile on her face - Heh... Trust you...
- Yes, I know how that may sound like.
Eris seemed quiet for a while, looking thoughtful - Why did you do it?
- What...?
- I was literally just trying to talk to you and you just go and attack me like that!
- I just wanted to be alone.
- So rather than saying that, you attack me?!
- I was... trying to prove myself that... I could still do it.
- Do what? Fulfill your petty revenge? - She spoke bitterly.
- It's not petty! You do not know how it felt when you attacked me! - He raised his voice angrily - I loved you and you broke my trust and intentionally left me to die! - His tone sounded distraught as he spoke and Eris remained quiet - Don't tell me I'm petty for what I felt... - He finally said, and she simply turned around, her back facing him as she let out a sigh.
- ...I just thought we could leave the past behind... It's what I've been trying to do...
- It doesn't change what you did.
- Well I'm trying to change my ways! What else do you want from me?!
He was quiet for a bit, looking thoughtful, but he was completely silent, just sitting on the bed she laid on. She was about to protest but he had moved his lashers out of the way so they wouldn't be close and she hesitated.
- ...I thought I knew what I wanted... - Was all he could muster - I thought hurting you really badly would make me happy. That I could finally get over my desire for revenge.
- Well you already hurt me. Should be more than enough!
- Then why do I feel sorry?! Why do I feel bad for hurting you?! I hate you! It should make me feel happy to see you in pain! And yet...
- If you stop repressing your own feelings and you might be able to wrap your little flowery brain around it and figure it out.
- Stop with your implications!
- And you stop being so stubborn about it! Else you'll be bawling in corners again like you were earlier.
- ...You certainly know how to not to be helpful at all. - He spat bitterly - I'm sorry, but I just do not accept any feelings I might have had just because I drank a little and was a bit overwhelmed by your presence.
- Will you quit telling yourself that? - She let out a big sigh - You know you're lying to yourself, right?
He was quiet once again, twirling his thumbs - ...I know I'm not supposed to feel this way. It's not me.
- Then who are you even?
- Don't get all philosophical on me, Eris. - He simply muttered, sounding numb.
- What will it take for you to accept your feelings?
- There is nothing to accept!
- Ugh! Why the... Why am I even bothering talking to you?! You're insufferable...
- I'm not. I'm just minding my own damn business. You should try it sometime.
She clenched her teeth, tearing up angrily at the way he spoke to her, such a jerk... He seemed to notice her look, and looked away in shame, but an apology never left his mouth.
- I'm really trying to clean up my act and becoming a better person. I won't let you drag me down with you just because you hate yourself that much...
- I don't even know where you got that from, but fine. - He quickly retorted much to her annoyance.
- I'd slap you if I could...
- I'd take it.
She just groaned in response - Do you really need to have the last word THAT badly?!
- ...Do you? - He simply asked, looking at her neutrally, angering her but as she tried to sit up to reach him, she winced in pain because of her wound - I told you not to move. - he helped her lay down again but she just slapped his hands away.
- Don't touch me! - She spoke angrily - I shouldn't have to deal with you! Leave me alone!
He simply eyed her quietly, hiding the melancholy he felt as he heard her with a neutral face - I need to stay and watch so you don't do anything... suspicious. Just get some rest.
She clenched her teeth and laid on her side, face hidden in a pillow, she was overwhelmed and cried frustrated. Florian felt it was best if he didn't attempt to get involved this time and simply remained put.
Eris opened her eyes, looking confused, she must have fallen back asleep, catching up with the hours her nocturnal self longed for. She rubbed her head, trying to recall what happened and gasped surprised as she noticed Florian sitting at the end of the bed, sitting up but leaned against the wall with his eyes closed. The pose seemed so uncomfortable to sleep in, and she thought he was just resting his eyes, but as she noticed his soft breathing, she realized he was completely out. So much for "keeping an eye on her", she thought.
She sat up, wincing a bit as she had forgotten about her wound, but at least it didn't hurt as much before.
The sun was still bright on the sky, and she was bored. She kept glancing at Florian who just napped his problems away. He certainly was so much tolerable to be around like that, rather than when he was just complaining and being passive aggressive at her.
She had really hoped they could be friends, even if just to meet up once a week for cold one night stands. She really felt there was something more to him, but he was just so dedicated to protecting his feelings with thorns and vines, attacking her if she were to dare approach him. With others, she wouldn't care, but he was a vampire just like her, turned by her nonetheless, and that was fascinating to her.
She frowned a bit with this thought, what was she even thinking? She was still mad at him and how rude he was, nothing could redeem that unless he decided to actually open up. And she really doubted he would. Maybe it was about time to go home. Should she bother to warn him? She didn't know how to treat her wound herself while he seemed like he did that every week. Swallowing her pride, she sat up clenching her side and reached to shake his shoulder a bit - Hey...
He let out a small gasp, opening his eyes trying to look alert, but his look was clearly in realization that he had passed out when he claimed to stay vigilant. Reaching with his hand to rub his eyes, he sighed - What is it...? - He asked in a low grumble.
- I'm leaving... - She simply said and he remained tired.
- Uhm...? Why? - He looked at her a bit confused.
- What do you mean why? - She pouted with a blush - I've healed up, I'm good and I'm ready to go.
- Oh right. I forgot... Why are telling me that? - He leaned back again, closing eyes lazily.
- It's only polite that I let you know... Also... About my wound...
- Yes... You lost a lot of blood so you might still be weakened... A nap just won't be enough... You may have to stay longer.- He then pointed at a small glass bottle of blood he had placed on the bedside table when she slept - If you're hungry.
- I don't trust anything from you... And you just want excuses for me to stay here, don't you? - She seemed annoyed and he blushed a bit flustered.
- I'm... Speaking from experience. I'm not too thrilled about it either. - He faced away but she couldn't help but to notice his flustered look. He was being so obvious that part of her almost felt bashful. It was... adorable... But he was still terrible and she wouldn't indulge anything he said or did!
- Well I won't take it... You've been awful to me! Why would I want to stay with you any longer?
- I don't want you to be fainting around out of weakness.
- I know how to take care of myself, thank you.
- Do you know how to change the bandages...?
- Uh... Y...Yes. - She stubbornly spoke and he raised an eyebrow in disbelief.
- You do not.
- W-Well it's not everyday that I'm stabbed by someone I thought was worth something!
- I said I was sorry.
- And I didn't say I accepted it! What's the point if you're just going to continue being awful to me?!
- Stop trying to get me to admit things and maybe I'll be nicer.
- I just... I don't understand why you're being like that... It's horrible for yourself! You couldn't even allow yourself a proper breakdown back there.
- Ugh, I can't believe you saw that... - He facepalmed - I can handle not crying every few years, it's fine.
- It's not fine!
- What do you want from me then? Want me to break down in your arms, crying for you to come back and love me?! Because that's not going to happen!
She entertained the thought for a bit but it was too depressing for her - I'm just saying that... If you did... It would be fine...
- Why do you even care...
- I don't know...
- You just enjoy seeing me suffering. You're just clawing at my skin, trying to find an opening into my "emotions".
- Because I know you have them...
- And you're dying to dig your pretty little claws into them. Nice try.
- You're being ridiculous, Florey...
- Am I, really? Am I?
- Yes! I've changed!
- Heh... Sure you have... Why else would you want to know so badly?
- I was hoping you'd feel better if you did... And we could leave this all behind...
- Oh I wish it was that simple...
- I can't even tell what your feelings are...
- Good.
- I genuinely thought you were in denial about being in love with me... But now...? Are those your current feelings...? I don't even know...
He blushed and faced the side - I never was... But I always hated you, however.
- And it's complicated... - She added and he sighed and nodded.
- It's complicated. - He repeated thoughtful and curled his fingers as she placed her hand on his. He sighed with this - Eris, I literally stabbed you... Why are you touching me...?
- I want to... If you really regret stabbing me, then... I suppose I can forgive you... - She spoke quietly and he blushed.
- Hah... You really have me wrapped around your finger...
- As it should be...~ - She jokingly said but frowned as she noticed his sad smile - But no... - She held his hands, causing him to tense again - Florian, why are you feeling like this...? How are you feeling...?
He eyed her for a few seconds then looked away - Well what do you want me to say about that?
- Well, it's a question... You could begin by answering it?
He just chuckled with this - Hah... I don't know how I feel, I'm not too familiar with the concept of emotions.
- Cute. - She rolled her eyes with a faint unimpressed smile.
- As I said. It's complicated. - He simply spoke - Mostly a past grudge, carried over for decades.
- Yes, so I heard... And...?
- And... Well, to put it shortly, part of me really wants to kill you. - He said sternly - And another... reaaally wants to make out with you and make you moan my name. - He seemed tense and frustrated - Do you see my dilema here?!
- Aha... - She half closed her eyes with a smug smile - I do have that effect in others...
- This is serious! - He said angrily but quickly composed himself, looking down at her arrogantly - Hmph. Why do you have to be so rude like that?
- I was not, I was just messing with you. - She smiled and he rolled his eyes.
- Yeah you'd like that, wouldn't you?
- Which would you rather do...? - She simply asked - Thinking about that, could help.
- None. I'd rather not do anything with you. How about that?
- No need to be shy, honeydew. - She said flirty as she held held his hands - You still had a nice time last night, didn't you?
- I must have repressed it. - He stared at the side, not wanting to admit anything.
The ladybug blushed a bit bashful - Well I noticed the way you looked at me... Do you always look that loving? - She said with a tender smile and he seemed to grow more flustered.
- I wasn't looking like anything! This is just how I normally look. - He quickly retorted.
- I thought it was sweet... Despite the fact that you will probably look at any women the same way! - She laughed a bit and let out a sigh - Ah... I guess I just forgot what that felt like.
- Forgot what what felt like? - he asked, failing to look repulsed as the Ladybug leaned in closer.
- You know... Nights with strangers, being in the arms of strong handsome men, being almost killed by a vengeful rose... - She rambled and he frowned.
- I said I was sorry! You're just looking for ways to push my buttons, aren't you?
- I would never do such a thing~ You're the one who's so easily upset.
- Urgh...
- ...? What's wrong now?
- Everything... You're still holding my hands, for a start. You're mocking me, you're touching me... And I'm just taking it in like a tool! - He laughed, clearly frustrated with himself.
- Honey, you're not a tool. It's just friendly teasing. - She smiled reassuringly but he remained frustrated. She noticed in his eyes how there was a desire to reciprocate her affections, but it was evident how much he was fighting it. His pride was still stronger after all.
- Yes, keep telling yourself that. - He muttered and she kept holding his hands thoughtfully.
- ...Want me to let go? - She simply asked and he faced away in silence, not wanting to respond - What are you trying to hide...?
- Are you sure that you're not doing something to me...? What is your secret?
- I'm not doing anything, it's all you.
[To be continued?]